Richard Littlejohn’s catch phrase ‘You couldn’t make it up’ is in fact a device that makes it very clear to any reasonably intelligent reader that he is making it up, all the damn time. Often his mistakes or misdirections are a result of the fact that he is so lazy he can’t even be bothered to Google simple facts, remember this when Littlejohn (salary circa £800,000 per year) criticises ‘worthless’ council jobs paying between £20,000-30,000.
Today’s stupidity is a repeat, again, of the old ‘Brown wasn’t elected’ line – which, like all of Littlejohn’s punchlines is false and has been flogged beyond death a long long time ago – and he has now added another jibe at an unelected person: Baroness Scotland. The whole sketch is one anyone with enough patience to regularly subject themselves to the truly pitiful attempts at humour that Littlejohn scrawls in Florida will instantly recognise as the hilarious ‘horrendously stereotyped American interviews a Brit and can’t understand the insanity of the British system’ that he has used before to enthrall readers with his literary attempts.
Again, like anything Littlejohn writes, it wasn’t funny, clever or true the first time and isn’t any better the second time around. The funny thing is that the sketch manages to offend British and American people because it relies on people accepting the fact that they are stupid. For example, the ‘unelected’ jibe is aimed at Baroness of Scotland and ‘Chad’ (the American) is amazed that the Attorney General isn’t elected in the UK, but instead appointed by ‘President Norman Brown’. Whereas, if Littlejohn had the first clue about America – the country he is an immigrant in – he would know that the Attorney General isn’t elected in the US either, but appointed by the president.
I’m not really sure what is worse, the utter moronic gibberish that Littlejohn writes or the fact that their are people stupid enough out there to treat him as a genius writer who should ‘stand for PM’ (demonstrating, again, just how little idea Littlejohn fans have about how politics works).
Not content with making phony jibes about the Baroness of Scotland being unelected, Littlejohn cannot pass up the chance to demonstrate his racism:
The Attorney General, the Baroness of Scotland, has just been caught employing an illegal immigrant as a housekeeper, but she won’t resign, either.She’s from Scotlandland?
No, she’s from Dominica, in the Caribbean.
Who’s from Dominica, the housekeeper?
The Baroness. The housekeeper’s from Tonga. She should have gone home five years ago.
The implication and racism here is pretty clear: neither of them belong here, both of them should go home. Which is deeply ironic considering that Richard Littlejohn lives in Florida, yet here he is wishes other immigrants would ‘go home'; even though he has no intention of doing so. I can only assume this is because Littlejohn believes it is one rule for the white person, and an entirely different rule applies if you have dark skin.
Next up, Littlejohn states that Brown is also responsible for the release of the Lockerbie bomber, even though there is no evidence at all to suggest this. The whole column is a tour de farce of fictional complaints and stupidity that frankly, I really cannot be bothered to dig through anymore. Go check out the comments to see that Littlejohn is getting a good kicking from readers on both sides of the pond – Americans it appears, also dislike the lazy, ignorant stereotyping that Littlejohn has honed to perfection through years of writing the damn same columns twice a week.
I’ll leave you with a reason to be cheerful, the existence of Sid Noggett and others who have got their comments past the Friday moderators: