Liz Jones identifies cause of British riots

Liz Jones is supposedly a fashion journalist, but given her penchant for writing bizarre drivel the Daily Mail are more than happy for her to join their dedicated team of moronic columnists and they welcome her views on pretty much any subject – whether it is sending her to Somalia to report on famine, or allowing her to trace the steps of the recently murdered. Today she argues that people in fashion are a bit dim if they dress scruffily – John Galliano – and that young people riot if they don’t wear a suit and tie.

Seriously: ‘Sloppy clothes lead to sloppy minds… Don’t they, Mr Galliano?’ is the title, here are her thoughts on why young people rioted:

the problem started when the likes of Tommy Hilfiger, Calvin Klein and Gap commandeered hip-hop clothing and sold it back to young people. The style became self-perpetuating and, to be honest, it rotted young people’s brains.

Look at the footage of the young people rioting in London and Birmingham and so on, and it’s like looking at a commercial for American Apparel. Sloppy clothes lead to sloppy minds.

Just as drawstring trousers never emit the warning sign that you might be getting fat, so sportswear means you will never be smart, disciplined or employable.

Do you know anyone under the age of 25 who owns shoe polish, or an iron? Place these young men in a suit and tie, and the women in pretty dresses, and their attitudes would change, and our attitudes towards them would change, too: we would smile at them rather than shun them.

The biggest disservice the fashion super-brands have done is to relax a generation, for huge profit, and not equip them for the real, corporate world. The T-shirt and sweatpant (even denim has been ditched as being too uncomfy and restricting), rather than making its wearer athletic and healthy, does just the opposite.

It doesn’t just make its owner cash poor. Given the high cost of all this stretch rubbish, it makes them unemployable.

So, in conclusion, people are so bovine that they are completely under the influence of the fashion industry and that because of this, if we all wore suits then poverty and violence would evaporate because somehow a complete cultural and financial shift can be achieved simply by changing what we wear. Even for Liz Jones this is just beyond stupid.

12 thoughts on “Liz Jones identifies cause of British riots

  1. One day it’ll come out that “Liz Jones” is a brilliant comic creation when the author can no longer contain their glee at how successful it’s been and step forward to receive their deserved plaudits. It out-Partridges Partridge. The slightly unsettling alternative is that she really is this mad and trivial.

  2. I’m under 25 and my fashion sense is partly influenced by 70’s punk fashion, does that I mean go around spitting on people and smashing things in the name of ‘anarchy’? Um, no.

    Also, what about the Mods v Rockers fights in the 60’s? I had the impression that the Mods tended to dress very smart indeed. And how does she explain all those designer-loving “Only Way Is Essex” and “Made In Chelsea” famewhores being so dumb their IQs are in negative numbers?

  3. Oh. My. God.
    So problem solved then. Get the government to arrange mobile units on every high street with the task of handing out suits to the masses and, bob’s your uncle, Britons will bow down to the elderly again.

  4. Of course! That would be why back in the 70s and 80s when wearing suits and ties were much more common, nobody ever rioted and everyone was blissfully happy! That’s why the youth of the 50s and 60s were so content and never sought to rebel against anything!

  5. Liz Jones:

    “fashion influences the way we think and the way we behave”

    The bankers who screwed the country wore suits, the feral rioters wore tracksuit, jeans and hoodies…

    …even Adam and Eve, naked as sin, screwed humanity!

    There literally is nothing left to wear that allows me to think for myself and be free of Liz Jones’ compelling argument!

  6. This is so wrong on so many levels that I can’t really begin. Maybe if she had taken some suits and pretty dresses with her to Somalia she could have sorted out all the countries problems. The woman is an idiot.

  7. @Thatoliver
    I’m pretty sure the Bullingdon Club wear baggy sweatpants and hoodies of course. I mean how could they trash resteraunts properly wearing top-hat and tails? Don’t you know that smart clothes make you a model citizen?

  8. “and the women in pretty dresses, ”
    Good grief.

    Wine bars are customarily full of ‘suits’ being drunk and disorderly. OK they don’t go out rioting. Maybe that makes it alright. One law for the rich eh?

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